Okay, so this is two weeks late and several pictures short. I possess no photography skillz at all and the only reason I have any pictures is because I got my idiot-proof Kodak EasyShare for Christmas two years ago.

I just lost all my coolness points. All the other BIFFs have killer cameras. I’m not jealous. Well, not really. Well, maybe a little. But my trusty CX7220 does the job and I’m not going to say anything disparaging about it because it needs to work this weekend. And we all know how inanimate objects hate me when I talk trash about them. Enough said.

So I finally got to meet Snickersnack Katie. I’ve talked to Katie a bunch of times and chat with her every so often on Google Chat. I’ve been looking forward to meeting her because “transplanted from the Northeast Texan” and we have a lot in common. The first time we chatted online we freaked each other out because we have a ton of things in common:

• We’re both Intellectual Property secretaries at big law firms.
• We work in the Patent & Trademark section of the IP department of our respective law firms.
• I interviewed at a name-recognizable law firm in Austin that she had worked at in Houston.
• We know some of the same attorneys at our respective law firms.
• When we’re bored at work we go to the USPTO website and read random freaky patents.
• We both moved to Texas in 2001.
• We both type the way we talk.
• We both have potty mouths.

We had been planning to meet on a couple of other occassions at one of Gaz’s cheerleading competitions in Houston, but for one reason or another those plans fell through. We finally met at United Cheer Nationals at the Berry Center in Houston.

Katie is awesome. That’s all I can say. It’s like I’ve known her FOREVER!!!! And folks, her photos don’t do her justice. She is STARK RAVING GORGEOUS. Gaz sez she looks like Bones and I totally agree.

See for yourself.

I know, right?

So Katie and my sleep-deprived self hung out while I was working at the competition. She helped Gaz & Kalli get cheerleaders registered for our giveaway bear and even assembled some bears. We went to IHOP for dinner with the two girls and Gaz freaked her out with this thing she does with her eyes.

We had a blast and I can’t wait until Katie, Patrick and Little Patick can come to Austin and hang with the whole Evil Family. She’ll probably run screaming from my teddybear-infested, cluttered house, but maybe I can lure her back with margaritas.

Katie, I lurrrrrrve you. (Even if you did post this horrible picture of me on the interweb.)

Katie is teh shit, yo.

coming soon…. BIFF adventures in Dallas.

I’m totally almost stealing this from Rockstar Mommy, but, dude, seriously.
It’s official. Britney Spears has completely lost her mind. Is anyone else not shocked by this?

According to Yahoo! News, Britney showed up in a San Fernando Valley tattoo shop and got a tattoo of some pink and red lips on her wrist. Okay, no big deal right. The fact that she was BALD, well, that’s another story.

According to news reports, here and here, Britney Spears walked into a salon on Ventura Blvd. in Tarzana, California. When the stylist refused to shave her head, she did it herself.

BEFORE

DURING

AFTER

According to EVERYONE, she checked into rehab Crossroads Centre in Antigua and checked out the same day, hopped off the plane, headed to Ventura Blvd., shaved her head and got a new tattoo or two (depending on what you read).

Apparently, the whole Anna Nichole Smith death and subsequent child custody controversy in conjunction with Nicole Richie getting busted for DUI and Paris Hilton getting booed out of a Vienna Mall left Britney feeling neglected by the press. What better way to kick off her new Elizabeth Arden fragrence Midnight Fantasy than by having a complete public meltdown. The PR people at EA must be freaking out right about now.

Can I just ask a question? WHERE ARE ALL THE GROWN UPS IN THIS GIRL’S LIFE? Yes, I said grown ups and I said girl. Yes, Britney Spears is an adult and yes, she is responsible for her own actions, but — hello??? — someone needs to sit her down and tell her to clean up her act. Someone needed to do this a long time ago. The whole K-Fed thing, Ugh! But she’s got 2 kids at home, a career that needs reviving, alimony that needs to be paid. What the hell is she doing? And why hasn’t someone bitch-slapped her and said, “You’re responsible for 2 human beings now. What the hell are you doing out partying with the likes of Paris Hilton & Lindsay Lohan, climbing out of limos with no panties on and swapping outfits with strippers?? Knock it off and start acting like a grown up!”

I could care less about the whole shaved head thing as well as the tattoos, but this chick is in serious need of some help.

and a wig, because… ewwww.

Updated: OMG, just check out the pictures on PerezHiltonAccess Hollywood.

Steen got a really nice e-mail from one of her readers and alerted the BIFFs to a really nice blogger named Deidra who’s walking in the Avon Walk for Breast Cancer.

I read your blog every day and I am hoping that you might be able to help me
out. You have the ability to reach a LOT of people, and I want to get the
word out about breast cancer. I’m walking in the Avon Walk for Breast
Cancer in Washington DC on May 5 & 6. I’ll be walking a marathon and a half
(39.3 MILES)!! I’m hoping that you would be willing to take one day and
post about the Avon Walk for Breast Cancer. If you would be willing to do
this, could you link to my personal walk page?

I need to raise $1800 and I know that with your help, that is MORE than
possible.  Please help me!  Thanks for your time.

Thank you,
Deidra McElroy

Diedra and her sister Heather are walking in memory of their friend’s mom, Rebecca Young.  Rebecca’s story is here.

Go donate on Diedra’s walk page.  Even if you can only give $3.  One less latte for you could mean a cure for breast cancer for many.  Every little bit helps.

Go. Donate. Now.

I have so much to write about, but can’t seem to put a coherent thought together, let alone type it out. I suck.

But here’s what you can look forward to:

The great BIFF meet between me & Katie this past weekend.
Teddy Bears & Cheerleaders — perfect together
Rico and Valentine’s Day
and some other random thoughts that are so random I can’t even put a headline together for them.

You’ll be amused. maybe.

I’m not photogenic. At. all.

I take maybe one good picture a year. I’ll probably have to live 437 years before I take another good picture since every picture taken of me on my wedding day 11 years ago (even the ones on the disposable cameras) were fantastic.

The reason I’m bringing this up is because I’m finally going to get to meet Katie in person this weekend. She’s going to help Kristi and I out this weekend at the competition we have booth space at this weekend in Houston.

Well, Katie and I were talking tonight to finalize arrangements, directions, etc. Kristi & I need to be at the venue at the ungodly hour 6:00 a.m. to load in and set up before the doors open at 8:00 a.m. I was all, “Dude, I don’t even want to be there at 6, I don’t expect you to be there at 6. Seriously.” So Katie’s just going to call me when she gets to the arena. She said, “I think I know what you look like, I mean you do have that one picture with your family.”

I realized that there’s only a couple of pictures of me out here on the internet. These which are fabulous, but 11 years old.

And this one, where it looks like I’m hiding behind Rico, but am in fact keeping him still so that the photographer could just “Take. the. damn. picture. already!”

Everywhere else, I’m identified by this:

or this:

Not very helpful for poor Katie.

Ugh! I can’t believe I’m actually doing this. Okay, I’m warning you. These may make you feel a bit stabby. Katie this is totally all your fault. Well, not really, but, never mind.

Here’s me & Gaz — in her full allstar cheerleading glory — at the Army Bowl.

Yeah, and then here’s me & Rico at a Christmas party where he stuck a bow on his head and declared himself a present.

Happy? Fine.

I can’t wait to see Katie this weekend!!! It’ll be worth posting these absolutely horrible, but recent photos of me.